24 ways to tell you’re no longer goth

My sister, my gothic self and my mum, five years ago.

• Sometimes you look at your wardrobe and think you have too much black.
• Eye liner is no longer your best friend. When you switch to autopilot applying, you think you look like a panda bear. On the eyeliner train of thought, you no longer hunt for men wearing the kohl.
• You no longer get excited when you find a good quality black nail polish.
• You budget tattoos, instead of starving for the next month.
• You no longer have friends who are into your music, thus you blabber to anyone who’ll listen. Some call you a closet metal fan.
• When you a meet a metal or goth culture fan, you jump for joy and talk like a rabid rabbit.
• People sit next to you the train, when before you were a last option. They even smile. You smile back.
• You go to gigs alone.
• You quit smoking.
• You no longer shop at that goth store an hour away, despite the coolness because you think the CDs are overpriced.
• Fishnets and other see-through clothes are donated to a charity. You keep the red bra.
• Hair is dyed a natural colour. Black is natural. Baby steps here.
• A curse word isn’t every second word out of your mouth.
• Corsets no longer fit. And you don’t want them to.
• Piercing jewelery are gradually getting smaller or disappearing altogether.
• High heeled leather boots that you used to go dancing in now hurt your feet.
  

  Year 12 formal (prom).

• When you see a man in a leather skirt, your initial reaction is no longer “Oh, Shagrath! Sex material right there.”
• You have “normal” clothes and then the ones you wear to metal events. (I know, it’s pitiful to admit this to myself, let alone you.)
• Cartoons are funny, and not just Daria.
• You re-discover garters and whips only to put them away again.
• T.V is watched. Regularly. How un-goth, mainstream garbage.
• You get excited when someone is wearing a band t-shirt that you love, but then realise you look completely normal and you can’t compare.
• Upon hearing of permanent corsetry, you were aghast and not in awe.
• You pretty much stop wearing all black once the emo wave swept the world.

Were you goth? Are you still? What are some things you’ve done?

If you’re a goth, you might appreciate these goth-inspired photos.