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  1. The Hollow Men and Wikipedia

    December 8, 2010 by Tash Keuneman

    Going through my books, I find a postcard of Jim Morrison in my T.S Eliot collected poems. What a cliche.

    I studied one of T.S Eliot’s more well-known poems, the Hollow Men for my final literature essay way back when.

    What’s most interesting is, I remember having to scour through tens of books on T.S Eliot, looking for a vague reference to the Hollow Men. Now, a half second google search and I find the majority of my research on wiki. Would it have meant more to me if I didn’t work at all for it? No. I cherish the essay because I can remember the hours in the library.

    I’m not normally one to think about “the good old days” but in this case, I’m glad I got to spend time in a library without the omnipresent computer in front of me. Cause God knows, I’m in front of my computer all the time now.

    Reading the Hollow Men again, I could picture where I lived during university, taste the pasta bianco (I couldn’t bring myself to survie on ramen noodles), feel the effect T.S Eliot’s words had on me, resting heavy on my chest. It still feels that way. The last paragraph sends a shiver down my spine every time.

    The Hollow Men

    Mistah Kurtz — he dead.

    A penny for the Old Guy

    I

    We are the hollow men
    We are the stuffed men
    Leaning together
    Headpiece filled with straw. Alas!
    Our dried voices, when
    We whisper together
    Are quiet and meaningless
    As wind in dry grass
    Or rats’ feet over broken glass
    In our dry cellar

    Shape without form, shade without colour,
    Paralysed force, gesture without motion;

    Those who have crossed
    With direct eyes, to death’s other Kingdom
    Remember us — if at all — not as lost
    Violent souls, but only
    As the hollow men
    The stuffed men.

    II

    Eyes I dare not meet in dreams
    In death’s dream kingdom
    These do not appear:
    There, the eyes are
    Sunlight on a broken column
    There, is a tree swinging
    And voices are
    In the wind’s singing
    More distant and more solemn
    Than a fading star.

    Let me be no nearer
    In death’s dream kingdom
    Let me also wear
    Such deliberate disguises
    Rat’s coat, crowskin, crossed staves
    In a field
    Behaving as the wind behaves
    No nearer –

    Not that final meeting
    In the twilight kingdom

    III

    This is the dead land
    This is cactus land
    Here the stone images
    Are raised, here they receive
    The supplication of a dead man’s hand
    Under the twinkle of a fading star.

    Is it like this
    In death’s other kingdom
    Waking alone
    At the hour when we are
    Trembling with tenderness
    Lips that would kiss
    Form prayers to broken stone.

    IV

    The eyes are not here
    There are no eyes here
    In this valley of dying stars
    In this hollow valley
    This broken jaw of our lost kingdoms

    In this last of meeting places
    We grope together
    And avoid speech
    Gathered on this beach of the tumid river

    Sightless, unless
    The eyes reappear
    As the perpetual star
    Multifoliate rose
    Of death’s twilight kingdom
    The hope only
    Of empty men.

    V

    Here we go round the prickly pear
    Prickly pear prickly pear
    Here we go round the prickly pear
    At five o’clock in the morning.

    Between the idea
    And the reality
    Between the motion
    And the act
    Falls the Shadow

    For Thine is the Kingdom

    Between the conception
    And the creation
    Between the emotion
    And the response
    Falls the Shadow

    Life is very long

    Between the desire
    And the spasm
    Between the potency
    And the existence
    Between the essence
    And the descent
    Falls the Shadow

    For Thine is the Kingdom

    For Thine is
    Life is
    For Thine is the

    This is the way the world ends
    This is the way the world ends
    This is the way the world ends
    Not with a bang but a whimper.


  2. Happy Halloween!

    October 31, 2010 by Tash Keuneman

    Happy Halloween! It’s a quiet one for me this time, all my Halloween-themed things are in boxes so just imagine I’m writing this dressed as a Stepford Wife.

    BUT! This time last year, I was carving pumpkins and getting my hands dirty with the Johnsons and Mastrangelos.

    Today I made pancakes and poached eggs for ten people, a usual breakfast occurrence, I had some friends I’ve known for half my life drop in on a second’s notice and witnessed my brother do his last night as a barman, dressed as Spiderman. The great thing was, he was hot as fuck underneath the suit but refused to take off the mask for aesthetics. Yup, we’re related.

    I’ve been working on my portfolio, I’m really excited about it. I’ve also been researching photographers in Sydney that I want to work with. Practicing yoga and eating über healthy is heart-warming. I tried to meditate without any audio guidance the other day, it was the hardest thing I’ve done in a while. Longest twenty minutes of my life. I shall keep it up, if only to see if it improves.

    My 16 year old Beiber-loving sister painted my nails black. Hello and have a blast tonight!


  3. Sydney

    October 15, 2010 by Tash Keuneman

    Downtown Sydney feels different, as if I visited here ten years ago.

    As I walk through the streets, I can remember spending hours in the botanical gardens and restaurants where I ate with friends. And good coffee. Good coffee everywhere.

    But, I feel different.

    I took a photo of a man covered from head to toe in campy Australian flags and when he asked where I was from, I didn’t know what to say.

    When I was in America, my answer was succinct, distinct.

    I am Australian. I’ve lived in the country for 16 odd years. The bulk of my memories are in Australia. But now…I’m an Australian with an American accent? It really doesn’t make any sense.

    I romanticised this city. Everything here is more expensive than I remembered. Perhaps I’ve lost touch with the creative pulse.

    It’s different. I’m different. And we’re just getting to know each other again.

    But I can’t really say I miss D.C. Because when I was in D.C I missed Sydney. So now what? I just miss?

    There’s a Buddhist haiku that is exactly how I feel:

    Even though I’m in Kyoto,
    when the kookoo cries,
    I long for Kyoto.
    - Issa


  4. I miss my comfort blanket

    June 15, 2010 by Tash Keuneman

    Hola from Lima, Peru.

    It´s the second day of the four month adventure. And I fucking miss the internet. I’ve been using my smart phone as a distraction, as a form of entertainment and as a comfort blanket whenever I’m nervous or stressed. And when it´s gone, I’m frustrated. Bit of a hot mess, actually.

    Which brings me to waking up an hour earlier than needed to google the lifespan of a crab on a slow computer in the hotel’s business center.

    Um, what?

    Well, I’m so used to having instant information gratification that when it´s gone (a.k.a paying $20 per megabyte) I go a little crazy.

    I tried to check my email three times yesterday, facebook and twitter once and the temperature twice.  I missed Yelp when we had to pick a place for dinner.

    There was crab on the menu for dinner and I wasn´t sure if they were being over-fished. And I just needed to know, right then and there, the population of crabs in the ocean. It stayed in my head like an itch so here I am, some 12 hours later, googling in Spanish. Turns out they’re not completely over-fished but like anything else in the ocean, levels are generally low.

    - Rant over, holiday stuff starts here. -

    I was a bit (ok, devestatingly) sad to be leaving the States. It’s funny as fuck, really. I spent the first year wishing I would leave and moaning about  and then in the last three months I find the best friends in the world and it was this big rush to spend as much time with them as possible.

    A handful of people changed my whole perspective on a country, amazing isn’t it?

    So the first half of my trip there was plenty of sad faces and long sighs on my end. And then I did some yoga, tried to stay present and it’s getting better, although there’s still things that make me laugh/get sad: exaggerated fist bites, people asking what the time is (1962!) and drinking beer.

    Spent the majority of yesterday travelling down to Peru. The in-laws surprised us at the stop over in Panama City, was a blast to see them a little bit earlier than planned.

    Lima was quite gloomy but we walked around a little. I spotted all of these old cameras in a market and almost died with excitement but I couldn’t go ape shit on the purchases one day in! Dinner was ok, it was a hotel recommendation and quite frankly, I’ve had better Peruvian food in Maryland.

    Off to Arequipa in a couple of hours. But I just had to visit you, internet, and make sure you’re ok since our recent seperation. I miss you, you look good. Now can we kiss and make up?


  5. My first (and last) keg stand

    June 5, 2010 by Tash Keuneman

    My first keg party from Tash Jayasinghe on Vimeo.

    There are pros that do a couple of keg stands at the end of this video – to give this whole thing some kind of merit.

    Beer from red plastic cups = bliss. I felt like I was in an American movie, like Roadtrip, Harold and Kumar go to Whitecastle or Europtrip.

    Mum, aren’t you proud of your daughter?

    Email from my mum the next day:

    I am proud of, been a first timer you kept up to ten, but I’m also glad it was your last. What’s the idea of been lifted up?
    love
    Mum

    Mum, my friends tell me the upside thing is just to make it difficult.


  6. New York Pizza and Funnel Cake

    May 31, 2010 by Tash Keuneman

    I love how my friends have all whole-heartedly embraced my quest for American novelties. I’ve been given peeps and attended keg parties (video coming soon). Love, love, love my mates; I say it here because I’m emotionally awkward when I’m face to face.

    The above is funnel cake, which is this thick standard flour/milk/egg batter that’s deep fried and then covered in icing sugar. Got it with Stacey and Todd. The funnel part is pretty simple, the batter is poured through a funnel into the hot oil to create the interlace pattern. I loved the oily goodness but can’t imagine eating a huge one, the monotone flavour is a bit much. But hey, at least I can replicate the carnival food later on!

    Check out my New York pizza slice! The one in the picture is called a “magic square” and I had it at Nonna Apa in the Lower East side of New York. Side note: I hated the touristy spots of NYC but loved Lower East side. It really changed my perception of the city. A good Chinatown will make me swoon. Most people buy tshirts in New York, I left with baby bok choy, scallions and aloe vera juice.

    I was slightly disappointed about the pizza. New Yorkers keep on banging on about how unique the pizza is up there (down here meaning D.C) so I expected different flavours to jump around in my mouth but when I took my first bite, there was nothing…I liked it, it was crispy and the sauce was good but I’ve had better.

    Please don’t stab me New Yorkers.


  7. No.1 is crossed off!

    May 23, 2010 by Tash Keuneman

    My biggest thing to do in America was to shoot a gun.

    T’was my birthday last Saturday and Wendell surprised me with a trip to the shooting range. At first he told me we were going sky diving and I was so shattered and disappointed (see: rolling around in bed with a sad face) that he confessed to what I knew all along. I was going shooting, bitches.

    I act all tough in retrospect but the truth is, I wore my skull and crossbones belt to the range but felt so intimidated by all the pro shooters that I quickly put my cardigan over my “hardcore” accessory.

    We were only in the range for an hour but that was enough. I bet if I was shooting at moving things it would have been more exciting but then I wouldn’t have felt nearly as good afterwards – my hit rate would have been lowered. The gun was heavy! I was looking forward to having the gun recoil when I fired a shot but no such luck. I’m all into bruises that I can show off but it’s all good.

    And to top it all off, we went to Komi for dinner. Hmm. I can still taste some of the courses and plan on at a minimum, mastering the goat shoulder recipe.

    This was my first go at collecting audio and photos. I plan on buying Soundslide, the demo below worked like a treat.


  8. The best damn writer in Australia

    May 9, 2010 by Tash Keuneman

    Yeah, you heard me. I’ve been reading Sam de Brito’s blog All Men are Liars for six months now and his articles are always interesting, timely and honest. He’s like the National Geographic in my blog reader, well-researched, informative and something I can strike up a conversation about later on.

    The reason I’m bringing him up is his latest work on the word pussy. I swear, this is not a feminist whinge. It’s written by a no nonsense type of bloke. And I loved every word. The below is taken mid-stream but you should seriously click on this link for the rest. Your brain would thank you for it.

    However, if a person really lacks strength, if they’re a wimp of the highest order, they might attract the next level of aspersion: pussy.

    That’s right, you heard me, you pussy.

    Some would argue this is merely a contraction of the term “pussy cat”, which strikes me as sweetly naive, considering its double-meaning has been mined by comedians for more than a century…

    So, while I’d love to think guys screaming “pussy” at the opposing team at football matches are referring to tabby cats, somehow I doubt it.

    This is kind of funny because so many men spend their lives chasing said pussy, yet, when they want to diminish someone, they label them with the object of their desire.